funny, the past year and then some passed with a blur. but i look back and there is nothing that I've done or accomplished that i actually care about. its all just stuff that i did. and i was perfectly happy just living it out like the multitude of idiots that populate this world. I'm not saying I'm better, I'm saying its not what i want.

and today i happen to look into DA, and read some of the stuff I've written, and some of the chats etc. looked at the things others have posted and i remembered myself back in the times when i was writing and drawing a lot and i realized that I've lost something. Somewhere along the way to university i lost something without even realizing it. and if u don't know/don't remember what was lost then u don't know that something's wrong.

I think in my stoned haze of drunkenness i forgot about something that was very dear to me. this spark of creativity and life that set me apart from the average and normal everything else. and i plan to find it again, because life is just empty without it.

i don't know where to look, but i guess I have to start somewhere.